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| Assertive communication #4664 |
Sun Sep 30, 2018 4:12 PM Sun Sep 30, 2018 4:12 PM
Joined: Apr 2018 |
Alberta Xeno OP
Joined: Apr 2018
Since posting on a forum is mostly communication I thought it would be interesting to put some info about a good way to communicate that works for healthy conversation. This is helpful on a comunity but also can help you a lot of you have an alien encounter. They would prefere that you know a good way to communicate with them!
Assertiveness means expressing your point of view in a way that is clear and direct., while still respecting others. Communicating in a assertive manner can help you to minimise conflict, to control anger, to have your needs better met and have more positive relationships with friends, familly and others (users and aliens for exemple)
Assertiveness is a style of communication wich many people struggle to put in practice, often because of confusion around exactly what it means. Sometimes it helps to start by explaining what it is not: agressive communication.
People often confuse assertiveness with aggression because it involves sticking up for yourself but the two are actually quite different:
•Force your needs or opinions onto others
•Often involves bullying or pushing others around
•Only your needs, opinions or beliefs matter
•May lead to shouting or physical aggresion
•Express your needs or opinions clearly but respectfully
•Others a treated with respect
•Considers the needs, opinions and beliefs of others as well as yours
•Using clear language to get point across
For exemple, imagine you are standing in line at the bank and someone else pushes in fromt of you. An aggressive response could be to grab them by the shoulder and say loudly "hey! What make you so important that you don't have to wait in line like the rest of us?"
This might make you feel better in the short term but you will probably also spend the rest of the hour feeling annoyed about the interraction. Or perhaps the other person will shout back at you and tne situation will get even worse, really leaving you in a bad mood.
A more assertive response could be to gently tap the person on the shoulder and say in a clear but respectful voice " excuse me, there is actually a line here. It would be better if you could wait your turn like the rest of us"
Chances are you will get a more positive response to this, perhaps the person will apologise and move to the back of the line or they may explain their reason for wanting to push in and you may feel happy to do them this favor. They may still respond badly, your assertiveness does not guarantee others will not be aggressive but at least you will feel good knowing that you did your best and used assertive communication.
Plus qu'hier et moins que demain / More than yesterday and less than tomorrow
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