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Just saying #14738 19/10/29 8:25 PM
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I have been a bit quiet lately.

I am mostly working on IRL stuff. A few weeks ago I have completely stopped using nicotine. I have replaced cigarettes by vape about 6 months ago and then I have quit vaping. Last Thursday I tried to stop using Cannabis but it did not work well... So I got some CBD/THC equal ratio to lower down the addiction for my next attempt. I spent like 4 months smoking 3 grams a day of 20%+ THC weed...

Well I tried to do good but finally I just really [censored] myself up!

I decided to buy a container of low THC weed after I had a really disgusting dream... My sleep was then all messed up but I was sleeping so well! Just when I started to have those little nightmares making me wake up in sweat wondering about myself... Really real dreams and disturbing. So that was try #1! I successfully quit smoking Cannabis for 4 days!

Well I am smoking today and it makes me feel a lot better. I just don't understand because I never had such a cannabis withdrawal in my whole life! It stated to become hard and normally it is not. Maybe because I did not have nicotine this time? Whatever....

I have soon to take important decision for the next 10 years of my life.

Last time I was wasted?

Then believe me I am trying to get clean before the next meeting.

My objectives is to stop using Cannabis and to start eating at least twice a day. I remembered back in the past before my relation with Tera. I was living really chill and satisfied. I was not eating by choice because I did prefer to drink alcohol, smoke weed and cigarettes. But I found myself growing up a little bit. Life is getting more serious and myself makes more sense. I want to help my brain and eating is something that should work. Having more nutrients... I am also starting to take meal supplement and vitamins. I bought them, putting money on my health. I am trying something really very completely different.

As we say, when you ain't go anywhere: Change direction...

So I don't want anymore money spending in drug or alcohol... Anyway a large public would consider my case with more credibility if my blood is actually clean. THC is still suspected to be a psychotic substance and a certain public care about this information. So I will go clean a year for the records. Also taking the anti-psychotic treatment. I must remind the public that my medication is as that:

400mg Abilify injection / 21 days [This is actually counter indicated by the manufacturer and considered as "overdosing"]

I am on strong anti-psychotic for more than something like 5 or 6 months and then I am still Yokor the alien hybrid.

The doctors could eventually take another approach but not if I have THC in my blood... Some people could think with good reason that my "alien being" is caused by a substance uses psychosis. It could still be possible that I am being psychotic on THC even if not psychotic from a illness such as schizophrenia. If I want to full medical psychiatric clearance about my story then...

I got to be perfectly sober for a while, elongated one and also on high dose of anti-psychotic.

I am working on it.....

I have started to work on some serious stuff with my therapist and addiction counselor. I am going to take back my health slowly but nicely. I know now that I should eat and sleep more while I stay clean so in a year or two maybe I will have a medical paper saying that my "alien claim" is not a psychiatric case. I want written that it is not delusion or psychosis. Doctors already told me that but they won't write it down.

"I am not comfortable"

Lately I got really really bothered and kind of smashed down by the negativity in my life. It was all over the place and many stories about apocalypse and end of the world while some people IRL made me believe stuff that could make me want to die. I still feel it and really I am a lil' broken and I don't know how to feel better. For sure keeping things for myself won't help.

I have been around craving to write but I have nothing related to the subject...

I am going to get that paper!

Just saying...

Plus qu'hier et moins que demain / More than yesterday and less than tomorrow
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Re: Just saying [Re: Xeno] #14739 19/10/29 8:26 PM
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I was reading that nicotine withdrawal could be up to 4 weeks. I have read symptoms and it seems like I have underestimate this one. Maybe it was not really a good idea to stop weed at this time without proper preparation. I feel really really short breath but I know that is just because something makes me very anxious. I don't know. I was warned to be careful and not to quit nicotine like that.

I should have get quitting products...

But I am so far in the withdrawal of it that I don't want to go back more nicotine because of pharmaceutic lobbies... They want us to buy product to make it easier and longer... Patches, gums, inhalers, sprays..... etc

Right now I want to be going old school. Cold quitting! Just my desire to quit to help me and my will to stop that crap!

I am withdrawing nicotine still and at the same time I am lowering the THC in my blood to prepare my try #2 quitting cannabis. Which can lead to increase symptoms... I will have both withdrawal together amigos! I did 4 days and it made me too drained out. I am taking a break having a little bit of low THC cannabis just to help making symptoms less exhausting.

I will feel so clean and good after that!

I am going to try to have the container I have until Friday so I can have my appointment with my addiction concealer and then have an attack plan. Right now I am just lowering symptoms by smoking a little bit. I got quite crazy about those craving and withdrawal symptoms. I am hanging on to my choice that is very deep this time: Quit nicotine products, all of them.... I am doing it. I know some people they really understand what is to quit regular or frequent use of nicotine. It is not only the body that react, the mind is very affected. I am eating a little bit more and I take vitamins so my body is being well even if creating many discomfort. My mind have been worked out pretty much to love nicotine and I had to say good bye to a very old thing in my life.

I have to bury the taste for one smoke and then forget about it. Turn the page and burn the old book. I am done with nicotine products! But this is not helping my case right now so I am staying more quiet. I can have episode in which I am really loosing it. I am going to make this story clean and clear but for now I got to clean myself to be cleared from mental discretionary. My alien identity is not delusional or psychotic...

I just need the paper but that will take a bit more time and work...

Right now I have to find a way to get through my withdrawal because I am on quitting seriously. But it is something that I personally find hard after being known as a "substances abuser" [...]. I mean like I was vaping every 10 minutes... I had high nicotine in my blood and my body has dropped from very high! OCD like you know? Compulsive uses mixed with addiction and vaping also as a compensation strategy to lower down general anxiety. I was on a regular dose but a very high frequency.

THC is high, every 20 minutes since I got out of my last hospitalization.

That is a rough time right now but I love it! Because all those symptoms that makes me sick tells me about what I was using. CRAP! I was on bad things such as nicotine. Just a stimulant that is very addictive... I love that feeling of sickness it gives me because then I see how an intoxicating substance it was and only was... I judge drugs on the withdrawal. I judge drugs on how it is to quit. Cigarettes is disgusting and the worse is that the user find themselves loving it!

What a crap substance eh?! That should be illegal. No cigarettes/vapes. Only quitting product should be legal now because cigarettes is an old crap that is outdated and shall be removed from our societies. Vapes seemed to be worse BUT easier to quit (so far).

The negative people are probably happy to hear I am not doing well but I am being through this unwellness on purpose to get back my health and feel better later, in a few weeks or months and then for the rest of my life. Hoping it did not already kill me... Seems that life is telling me something like "You got to be feeling sick if you want to be healthy later". I envy those that just quit without a problem... But for me it is hardcore!

Just saying!

Plus qu'hier et moins que demain / More than yesterday and less than tomorrow
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Re: Just saying [Re: Xeno] #14740 19/10/29 8:26 PM
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Today I tried to smoke every 2.5 hours. Did not work so I went up to every hour.

I smoke a hoot every hour. The cannabis name is "Equalize" , that is the strain I am smoking right now and it helps me having a little of THC in the blood not to withdraw too much. I did a progress still. I was 0 use of it for 4 days so I could feel like failing right now. So I take a different point of view. I was smoking high THC every 20 minutes and now I am on THC/CBD hybrid weed that is low dose and less frequently, which means every hour.

This is progress my friends!

I think that I should have listened to them when they have said that I should have waited before quitting like that both together THC and nicotine... It can get hard, not hell level of hard but enough to get tired or have energies drained down. So I am just slacking up my strong desire to clean up and get back a bit of cannabis so I am not going to make it crazy or insane. I want to quit but I want to make it enjoyable!

I hope not to come back after in the future with using it again. That would be having been through withdrawal for nothing...

I think I am done with nicotine because it has been 3 days I have money and I did not buy any nicotine products yet. Been stopping for around 2 weeks or so then I think I am going to make it. I just hate when I feel like I am hurting in the chest like if I am going to have a stroke or something. I feel my heart going hard in there and it freaks me out. Sometime it comes with muscular spams and discomfort...

Nicotine is very bad!

I really encourage people not to use nicotine products, none of them.

So for the well being of my case and because I was whispered that some paperwork will be possible in a short future if I follow some simple instructions, what the UFOlogist am I doing? Working on my health first and then gaining a larger public by quitting THC regard to the hypothesis in which it could be responsible of "my alien psychosis". I am removing possibilities and then I will see... I was told by a psychiatrist that to them THC could be causes of a "substance use psychosis". Many substances can actually create or increase risk of psychosis, THC is on the list of suspected ones.

It is not taking weed that make something necessary psychotic. Many cannabis user are genuine legit experiencers. But there are cases in which someone is just on good [censored] you know? Like they got the dankest [censored] to use and get high as [censored]. Also some people are just psychotic or schizophrenic. I understand that ufology is filled with crazy people and mentally sick stories... I am trying to verify if I am one of them.

So far it sounds very good for my future but first I have to follow a doctor instructions if I want that on paper!

I am going to clean and clear way.

Just saying.

Plus qu'hier et moins que demain / More than yesterday and less than tomorrow
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Re: Just saying [Re: Xeno] #14741 19/10/29 8:27 PM
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I am acknowledged of my situation, my real identity and my purpose. Not informed but I know a few things. Mostly from what I remember of my past involving alien encounters. I am not going to the medical check up because I need the paper to prove myself. One person about two years ago thought that I was sick and asked me to go get checked explaining to me that many cases are actual mental health issues. Then about 4 years ago I was told by a ufologist organization head that ufology is a lot of goofy people with weird and false beliefs.

I have been told many times by many people that being checked up by a doctor in this field is very good for a public and also for some organizations. It was a really great idea because I found out that I was sick actually. I had substances abuse disorder with bad anger management. Also I have been very too much obsessed by this implication in the subject. I was a lil' wrong you know. My relationship with that...

So I was told, warned and then asked to get a psychiatric check up.

With a story like mine it is not possible to have full credibility without that for many people. I was diagnosed already... I have been working out myself the way I could to get better but at some point I think I just had to take off from Tera's place and then live by myself. That was a big turn. For the best. The past months have been exhausting and insane I feel like I am getting drained out and I might be wanting to do too much at the same time. I want it [censored] done!

Sooner it is withdrew... Sooner it will be behind! Then I will feel so good.

Intoxication is not the best for me and THC is great for many reasons and for many people but I need it off my blood for a while.

I have seen people thinking they are this and that because they were on drugs. I actually have never really verified myself how things are going in my mind if I sober up for 12 months or more added to the anti-psychotic. It would please a public to hear in a year or two that I got that paperwork signed by a doctor. I was not offered it nor promised it. I was just whispered that it is getting closer to possible and with a few instructions I could maybe get that done. I am taking a risk at some point with them.

I have no guaranty they will write it down and sign the doctor [censored] on bottom of the paper.

I going on with them based on trust of what I am told.

Just like with everyone else!

I know I am an extraterrestrial alien hybrid so I am not scared to go anti-psychotic and cleaned and clear blood. Nothing will take off from me who and what I am. It can't happen because it is just real and I am genuine even if I have no proofs. I am a legit alien hybrid from an infiltration project. That has not changed at all, it is even getting more formed and deep in my mind and I feel it more and more.

Just saying...

Plus qu'hier et moins que demain / More than yesterday and less than tomorrow
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