I'm not the most comfortable with my situation. It feels like it's meant to be oriented to regularly hurt. There is a lot of sabotage going on around me. The same people always...
Just a few people and then I feel down in my doubts. They make me doubt then feel wrong. They don't want me to succeed.
The aliens I have in my life they are present but not showing. I feel something from space, à connection and I call it my home.
I'm really tired of my situation even if I really love my mind having them in my life. I can't give up on something because the love is just perfect. I love them like nothing else. Only my son has the same. Or really close to it.
I don't understand why I'm letting myself down because of a troll or a saboteer... After all those experiences that I have had? I cannot confirm that I am a good alien on a mission to help and support but I can be convinced that I am with them.
I believe I am a good alien on a mission to help and support! I don't have proofs, [beep
] not even for myself. I've been remembering that I have a special passion for the Greys. Because I feel it. Thank you!
Then I had a conversation with two of them calling themselves my parents. They told me that this feeling of connection from space is normal by saying that I am one of them.
I really love them because they are my kind, my people, my family. I had a relevant conversation with them and they were very much appreciated and great to me. So I initiated a project that I joined as participant. The reason of my situation is first a choice.
I'm starting to crave my own life being free to be what I am. An alien hybrid from a project that is not the hybridation program. It's typically an experimental recording for further release.
For myself? I think I did not have logic. I was hurt and confused; drunk and drugged... I just went on impulsive ideas so I can say that an alien can be crazy. I thought I was born here because I crashed and died but... Seems it's not anymore. I am not from this planet and I knew when I remembered something and took months to pay attention to one thing they said:
"You are an extraterrestrial"
But my mind was so [beep
], my body tired and intoxicated not to forget about being shot by some psychotronic weapons... I did the best I could.
I removed access to my memory after the meeting.
My ET encounter resulted on waking up from a deep sleep to realise that I am not human. I'm here for the help.
But I abused of mind control on myself, training story, and now I'm blown up! Burnt out...
I will need a while to recover following the rules.
I'm completely wiped. I only have a really little few memories of a meeting. That's it.
I do what I can until I get to see more clearly my own case. The alien claim circulate a lot so people are skeptical or careful because most of those claim, sadly, are not real.
Could be my case...
I'm just in the middle taking shots or being sniped by people close to me. When I leave the internet, only one person hurt me. But online it's crazy! People are wild and mercy less, low and careless, cold and cruel...
Not everybody but a lot.
That is why I will start up sharing my story out there after I have found my circle. I will have to go where people meet and talk and make friends. My only support is the community service nurse and the provincial disability income with its health benefits.
I will just stay sick of my human illusion if I don't get friends and support. I don't feel comfortable but at some point I have to move forward. I have to restart to go to people around town.
I will soon. I'm already more than happy to be more in touch with my surrounding and socialize a little bit with people that I am walking across.
It's coming the good time for the people that earned it their way. Mine has been to leave my set up to end up damaged but better at some point. But I'm really damaged from the past years...
I've walked across a really negative and destructive force and it poisoned me. I feel it in me, dirty and shitty...
There is a lot of sickness around. Some people they hurt and they don't care or don't feel bad at all. I've seen people enjoying hurting me, like if it was just a game or a sport. That's something I hate with those people. They see or feel your pain and proudly look at you with satisfied eyes offering a smile...
I have had too much [beep
] going on around me that I feel contaminated. People they hurt for fun, what's the joke?